TMI

Sep. 12th, 2009 12:53 pm
anon_decepticon: Decepticon insignia w/a "?" (Default)
[personal profile] anon_decepticon

Title: TMI
Series: TF:Animated
Author: [livejournal.com profile] anon_decepticon
Rating: PG-13
Pairing or Character(s): Strika x Lugnut, Megatron, Blitzwing
Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers.
Warning(s): Implied sex, inappropriate humor, possible emotional scarring.
Summary: Some things are best left to the imagination. Others are really, really not.
Author's Note: This little one-shot arose as a result of sleep deprivation and a highly amusing IM conversation with [livejournal.com profile] kookaburra1701. I take no responsibility for the psychological damage it may inflict.



In hindsight, it wasn’t all that surprising. One might have even said it was inevitable.

Ever since the leader of Team Chaar had joined Megatron and his crew aboard their ship, they’d been eyeing each other. Sizing each other up. Taking each other’s measure.

So when the ever-loyal Lugnut failed to appear on the bridge for his scheduled duty shift, and Strika, his formidable General of Destruction, was also noted to be conspicuously absent, it didn’t take a genius mech to figure out what had happened.

Megatron scowled from his position on the throne-like command chair and let loose an irritable growl.

Blitzwing, the only other Decepticon currently present on the bridge, glanced over at him from his post at the navigation array. He was currently sporting the visage of his cold, logical personality, and spoke in its corresponding calm, rational voice. “It would appear Lugnut has been delayed.”

“Yes,” Megatron replied shortly, in a tone that promised considerable pain to any fool who made themselves the target of his ire.

That was when the noises began.

They were relatively quiet at first; a soft bang, a low metallic scraping, a muted roar.

“My Lord Megatron, shall I investigate the disturbance?” Blitzwing asked.

“No,” Megatron replied curtly.

The noises grew progressively louder, and soon the corridors of Megatron’s warship were filled with them. Heavy, subsonic rumblings. A steady, rhythmic banging.

“Strika und Lugnut, I presume,” Blitzwing said after a moment.

“Yes,” Megatron growled, his grip tightening on the armrests of his command chair.

The banging got louder. Beneath it, the rumbles resolved into deep, vibrating groans, accompanied by the hectic revving of overheated engines.

Blitzwing seemed taken aback. “Are they..?”

“Yes,” Megatron gritted through clenched denta. The armrests of his chair were beginning to distort beneath his crushing grip, and his murderous tone suggested that Blitzwing would be wise to shut up immediately.

The banging continued, even louder now, and its pace quickened considerably. The rhythmic sounds echoed through the cavernous halls of the Nemesis as if the ship were under assault by manic giant wielding a massive pile driver.

Blitzwing arched an impressed brow-plate. “One has to admire Lugnut’s…enthusiasm,” he commented.

“Indeed,” Megatron growled.

Impossibly, the banging grew still louder, almost frantic – a punishing, relentless hammering that shook the very walls of the Decepticon warship. The rumbling groans and revving engines took on a frenetic, fevered pitch, vibrating the deckplates beneath their feet.

Blitzwing appeared to have been shocked into silence. Even Megatron’s optics widened in surprise. Strika was not a femme to be trifled with; he hadn’t named her his General of Destruction on a mere whim. Granted, that might mean she was entirely capable of tolerating such treatment, but even so…

Lugnut’s deep, resonant voice suddenly rose up out of the din, bellowing, “YES, YES, YES! POUND me with your GLORIOUS cord, my MAGNIFICENT GODDESS!

In counterpoint to his words came Strika’s laughter, low and curiously staccato as a result of what were undoubtedly extremely vigorous thrusts.

The mental image that immediately arose in Megatron’s processor was more horrifying than any of the countless atrocities the ancient warlord had ever committed or witnessed. His right optic twitched as he initiated the command code to permanently wipe the disturbing visual from his memory core.

“Hmm,” Blitzwing said. “That was more than I wished to know.”

“Agreed,” Megatron rumbled.

*fin*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yamiyouka.livejournal.com
*drops dead from LOL*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heslestor.livejournal.com
*breaks something muffling their laughter*

I think the best part was Blitzwing's calm observations throughout it, just I can hear it in his voice and everything.

Primus, I love Strika.

*goes back to giggling*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 06:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com
Eheheheh, awesome. Strika always tops.

(Wouldn't mind seeing what was going on behind those doors, winkwinksaynomore. ^_^)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anon-decepticon.livejournal.com
(Wouldn't mind seeing what was going on behind those doors, winkwinksaynomore. ^_^)

That was what I initially set out to write, but this was funnier. I may still do the other. Strika is awesome.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 07:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com
Oh, this way's definitely funnier, but I'd love to see the other.

(Funny, I see two pieces of Strika!porn or hinted porn and both of them have her with a cord. It seems to just fit her style.)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 06:48 pm (UTC)
ext_48803: ([tfa] DRAMATIC ANGLE)
From: [identity profile] alanahikarichan.livejournal.com
THIS FANFIC IS GLORIOUS AND YOU SHOULD FEEL GLORIOUS

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 09:57 pm (UTC)
eerian_sadow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] eerian_sadow
oh my primus, darling! this was awesome and amazing and the best crack i've read in weeks. absolutely nothing to be ashamed of here. nothing at all.

*ded of laughing*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anon-decepticon.livejournal.com
I suppose it's rather fitting that I should lose my TFA fanfic virginity to a short humor fic, since my overall fanfic virginity was lost the same way. If I stay true to form, there will be much TFA smut to follow. ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-12 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graycalls.livejournal.com
If so... Well, all I can say is it'll be good. ^_-

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-13 02:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lunar-eclipse24.livejournal.com
*dies*
This was AWESOME!!! I'm actually crying, I'm laughing so hard. It figures that Strika would top Lugnut. Poor traumatized Megatron.

May I friend you? I've been a fan of your fics for a while and I don't want to miss any of your writing.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-13 02:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] butterbean137.livejournal.com
0.0

I --

NYGH --

WHU --

GOOD PRIMUS. THAT WAS AS GLORIOUS AS STRIKA'S CORD.

P.S. To what address shall I send you my doctor's bill? For I have cracked a rib trying to hold in laughter as to not alert my family of my secret kinks, and it is all your fault.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-13 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiptoptile.livejournal.com
I nearly just spit water out all over XD That was glorious! I truly needed a laugh today and by god you gave me one!
Bravo I say! Bravo!

And may I ask to friend you?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-13 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anon-decepticon.livejournal.com
Feel free! Thanks for reading!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-14 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kookaburra1701.livejournal.com
Heeeeee! This came out awesome! The world needs more Strika awesomeness in it. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2009-09-19 04:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fuzzy-ninja.livejournal.com
If I could stop laughing and crying, I would leave such a proper comment. Omfg lmfao forever. A fic like this had to be done. XDD

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-19 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corneliat.livejournal.com
I lol'd. So hard.

Just....yes.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-25 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bernie-laraemie.livejournal.com
This is wonderful beyond words. Megatron's expression at the worsening situation throughout is perfect. As is his curt, commanding tone. And his "I'm surrounded by idiots" demeanour. Perfect perfect perfect.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-07-12 02:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] synaltern.livejournal.com
Took me a while to get to this gem. ^^ Very enjoyable.

Profile

anon_decepticon: Decepticon insignia w/a "?" (Default)
anon_decepticon

August 2012

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122 232425
262728293031 

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags