After Atlantis, Part 22

[anon_decepticon]

Title: After Atlantis, Part 22
Author: anon_decepticon
Rating: M
Pairing or Character(s): Wheeljack, Ratchet, Optimus Prime, Hound, Mirage, Trailbreaker, various others in minor roles.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Transformers. Part 1 references scenes from the G1 Season 2 episode “Atlantis, Arise!” Part 4 references scenes from the next episode, “Day of the Machines.” Parts 5 and 6 reference scenes and quote some dialogue from ”Enter the Nightbird.” Part 9 references scenes from “Dinobot Island, Parts 1 & 2”. Part 11 references scenes from “The Master Builder” and “Auto Berserk.” Part 12 references scenes from “Microbots,” (as does Part 13, briefly) and gives minor nods to “Heavy Metal War” and “Prime Target.” Part 14 references scenes from the two-part episode “Megatron’s Master Plan,” and gives a teeny nod to “The Ultimate Doom.” Parts 16 and 17 reference scenes and quote dialogue from the two-part G1 cartoon episode “Desertion of the Dinobots.” Part 18 contains oblique references to “S.O.S. Dinobots,” “Traitor,” “The Ultimate Doom” (part one) and “City of Steel” (namely the bits w/Autobots on water skis.) Part 20 references scenes and quotes dialogue from “Blaster Blues.” Part 21 references “The Golden Lagoon.” These portions of the fic are not mine.
Warning(s): PTSD angst, references to rape, references to sex.
Summary: Raped by Starscream, Wheeljack struggles to cope.
Author's Note: If you've gotten this far, you already know the backstory. Original Kink Meme prompt. Previous installments: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18 (1/2), Part 18 (2/2), Part 19, Part 20, Part 21. Also available on FFN. Sorry for the delay on this chapter – I was involved in a major car wreck and despite being on leave from work to recuperate, I was in too much pain to write for a while. This is the big one, folks – we’re finally coming down to the end of this angst-fest. Many thanks as always to kookaburra1701 for being all-around wonderful, and to everyone else for sticking with me this long. Only 2 chapters left! Thanks for reading!



Wheeljack onlined his optics at the termination of his recharge cycle, but made no effort to rise.

It wasn’t that his cycle had been interrupted – once he’d finally fallen into it – or that he hadn’t refueled; he’d downed the cube he acquired last night after his sobs had devolved into dispirited whimpers, scarcely pausing to analyze the energon’s chemical composition as he poured it down his intake.

No, his energy levels were fine. It was the rest of him that was the problem.

He felt…numb, as if he’d burned out his own emotion chip. The despair he’d felt over the sheer hopelessness of his situation had been too much to endure, too great to contain. The overriding feelings of shame and disgust and self-loathing had completely overwhelmed him, spilling out in a raging torrent and leaving nothing behind but a barren, empty shell.

Yet somehow he was still functioning, even though he’d slipped into recharge half-hoping he wouldn’t online again in the morning.

He wasn’t sure how long he lay there, motionless, staring listlessly up at the ceiling, but after a while an internal reminder pinged, alerting him to the fact that he was supposed to report for duty in the repair bay in less than a quarter of a joor.

Normally the sound of that reminder would’ve had him scrambling to his feet and dashing out the door, bolting down the corridors of the Ark in a frenzied rush to beat the morning crowd to the common room so that he could grab a cube and still make it to repair bay on time for his shift, but on this particular morning, he heaved himself off the berth as if his chassis were made of lead, his movements slow and ponderous.

If not for the knowledge that failing to report in would earn him a stern reprimand from Prowl, most likely accompanied by some processor-numbingly tedious duty assignment as a punishment, not to mention a blistering diatribe from Ratchet for leaving him in the lurch, he wouldn’t have bothered.

As it was, by the time he made it to the common room the morning rush was already well underway. The flurry of excited whispers and comm signals that arose in response to his arrival scarcely penetrated the apathetic haze clouding his CPU.

He just couldn’t bring himself to care.

He retrieved his ration in silence, returning the handful of greetings vocalized in his direction with indifferent shrugs and noncommittal grunts. Later on, he would be unable to recall who had spoken, or what they’d said to him.

None of it mattered.

He sank heavily into a seat at a vacant table near the door, taking a sip from his cube. He noted absently that this week’s energon had the heavy, organic quality that indicated it had been refined from one of Earth’s fossilized fuel sources – his least favorite formulation. Not that he’d ever complained – the humans donated what they could, and the Autobots were grateful for whatever fuel they were given – but the unpleasant sensation of it sluggishly suffusing his systems did little to improve his mood.

Spotting Trailbreaker seated at a table across the room with Hound and Mirage didn’t help much, either.

If nothing else, seeing the defense strategist confirmed that his emotion chip was still operational – Trailbreaker looked every bit as miserable as Wheeljack felt, and the sight of him sent a pang of loss and guilt through his spark that made him bow his helm in defeat.

He knew there was no point in trying to talk to Trailbreaker; Hound would surely intervene. Wheeljack doubted Trailbreaker would be willing to listen anyway, even if he’d been alone. If Trailbreaker had wanted to talk to him, he wouldn’t have allowed his best friend to run interference while he fled the room last night. He’d made his feelings on the subject of Wheeljack abundantly clear.

Trailbreaker wanted nothing to do with him.

Nevertheless, Wheeljack’s gaze was pulled back to him again and again, drawn to that dark form like iron filings to a magnet. He couldn’t resist snatching brief, surreptitious glances in Trailbreaker’s direction, hoping against hope that he might somehow catch his optics.

But Trailbreaker never looked up; his optics remained fixed on the cube in front of him, dim and lifeless.

Hound was making an obvious effort to boost his friend’s spirits, exhibiting an aura of false cheer so forced it was almost painful to watch as he endeavored to engage Trailbreaker in conversation. Mirage interjected occasionally in more moderate tones, evidently opting for a more delicate approach. Neither appeared to be having any effect; Trailbreaker’s expression remained unchanged throughout, bleak and disconsolate, oblivious to their efforts.

Wheeljack’s spark ached every time he looked at him, filling with a desperate longing that was agonizing to endure, but he kept glancing over anyway, torturing himself with vain, fruitless hope.

It was better than feeling nothing.

He was now running perilously late – if he didn’t leave within the next few astroseconds, he wouldn’t make it to the repair bay in time for his shift – but he couldn’t bring himself to leave. This might be the closest he got to Trailbreaker all day – a handful of stolen glances across a crowded room.

The thought made him look over again as he dawdled over his cube.

Hound was staring right at him.

Their optics met, and for a moment they were both too startled to react, caught in the act of looking. Wheeljack averted his gaze quickly, not wanting to invite a repeat of their previous confrontation, but in the astrosecond before he looked away, he noticed Hound’s expression wasn’t quite what he’d been expecting. Hound’s posture was tense and strained, his expression clearly conflicted, but the look he’d been giving him had seemed more wary and contemplative than the overtly hostile.

Wheeljack prayed that meant Hound had thought better of causing another scene, that the presence of Mirage had tempered his desire to launch another attack in defense of his best friend, injecting him with a dose of discretion, but kept his optics locked on the cube in front of him anyway, his spark pulsing with anxiety. He heard them rise and make their way toward the exit, pretending to be lost in thought as they moved past his table.

Hazarding a wary glance upward, he discovered Mirage had fallen a few steps behind Trailbreaker and Hound, and was only just now passing him. Mirage paused as Wheeljack looked up, meeting his gaze with a look of understanding and favoring him with a small, sad, sympathetic smile before following in the wake of his departing companions.

Wheeljack lingered for another klik, preferring to face Ratchet’s wrath than risk running into them again in the hallway, then subspaced his cube and headed for repair bay.

**

He arrived several kliks late.

For once, Ratchet didn’t scold or berate him for his tardiness; all Wheeljack received from the CMO was a reproachful glare. He greeted Ratchet with a perfunctory nod, muttering an apology as he made his way to his workstation to begin checking his tools, ensuring they were in place and ready for use.

There were no patients in repair bay that morning; he and Ratchet were on call in the event that the Decepticons attacked or an Autobot experienced urgent maintenance issues or suffered an accidental injury, but no tasks presently awaited their attention. Normally Wheeljack enjoyed shifts like this, ones where he was essentially assigned to spend the day in idle company with his best friend, but today he took no pleasure in it.

His routine preparatory tasks provided little distraction, and were all too quickly discharged. Once they were completed, he sank into his chair, venting a heavy sigh as he stared dejectedly at the floor.

Trailbreaker didn’t want him anymore.

He’d known that for days now, ever since the night Trailbreaker had thrown him out of his quarters, but the thought still struck like a physical blow, making his spark clench in agony.

But the truth was, even that was a lie. He’d known all along Trailbreaker had never wanted the real Wheeljack, the one who’d survived Starscream’s assault. He’d tried to pretend that Trailbreaker did, that it didn’t matter, but deep down he’d always known he was living on borrowed time, enjoying the undeserved affections of a mech he’d tricked into thinking he was worthy.

…at least until Trailbreaker saw through the ruse and ended it, confirming all of Wheeljack’s fears.

But even knowing Trailbreaker’s desire for him had never been real, Wheeljack could no longer deny that he wanted Trailbreaker. The defense strategist occupied his every waking thought, filling him with a painful longing to see him, to hear his voice and feel his touch.

He wasn’t sure when it had happened exactly, at what point in their association Trailbreaker had gone from being merely convenient to being absolutely necessary – Trailbreaker had crept in quietly, unassumingly, and slotted neatly into place within his spark like a piece of himself Wheeljack hadn’t even known he was missing – but now that that piece was gone, he felt its absence more keenly than anything he’d ever lost.

He wanted him. He needed him.

His spark pulsed in silent sympathy, as if to say, I want him, too.

Wheeljack bowed his helm, recalling the look of commiseration Mirage had given him. Mirage knew his cause was futile, that he had no hope of winning Trailbreaker back. No gift, no sparkfelt plea would serve to regain Trailbreaker’s affections.

He’d earned them under false pretenses.

“Everything all right, ‘Jack?” Ratchet asked, interrupting his silent musings.

“What am I gonna do, Ratch?” he asked plaintively, raising his helm to meet his gaze.

Ratchet cocked his helm in confusion. “Do? About what?”

“Trailbreaker,” he replied in a defeated tone.

“What do you mean?” Ratchet asked, eyeing him quizzically. “I thought you said it was over.”

“It is,” he confirmed miserably. “He probably hates me now. Hound does.”

Ratchet frowned. “I don’t understand,” he said.

Wheeljack shrugged, lowering his helm. “I don’t know what to do,” he said. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

Ratchet huffed irritably. “I warned you this would happen, ‘Jack,” he said. “Exactly this! You didn’t want to hear it.”

He nodded. “You did,” he conceded. “You were right all along.”

Ratchet studied him for a long moment, and then vented a sigh through his intakes. “Beating yourself up over it won’t help,” he said grudgingly. “I know you feel bad about what happened, but what’s done is done. You have to let it go.”

“I just want him to talk to me again,” he said quietly. “Just…talk to me.”

“Bad idea,” Ratchet opined. “Bad, bad idea. Don’t go making things worse, ‘Jack; you’ve driven far enough down that road already. It’s not fair to Trailbreaker, leading him on like –”

“I know, I know!” Wheeljack cut him off, his vocalizer crackling with frustration. “He doesn’t want me! He never wanted me! You think I don’t know that?”

Ratchet stared at him, startled. “What do you mean, he doesn’t want you?”

“He thinks he does,” he replied morosely. “But he doesn’t know about – it was all a lie!”

“Maybe you should tell him the truth,” Ratchet suggested. “Who knows, it might help.”

He shook his helm, “I can’t do that, Ratch. You know I can’t.”

“I know you think you can’t,” Ratchet countered. Wheeljack activated his vocalizer to protest, but Ratchet wasn’t finished. “You can’t keep lying to him, ‘Jack,” he said. “It’s not right. Trailbreaker’s a good mech, he deserves better. He deserves to know the truth.”

He continued to shake his helm, even though he agreed with every word. “I can’t tell him,” he insisted. “If he ever found out…” he trailed off, his shoulder-struts slumping dejectedly. “He can never know, Ratch.”

“Why not?” Ratchet retorted, pinning him with an angry glare. “Because you’re too slagging stubborn to admit what Starscream did to you? Too afraid it might dent your precious pride?”

Wheeljack stared at him, taken aback by the sheer amount of venom in Ratchet’s tone. “No,” he protested weakly. “You don’t understand, he thinks I’m –!”

“You wanna fix this, Wheeljack?” Ratchet said harshly, his optics flashing. “I’ll tell you how to fix it – stop lying and do what you should have done from the beginning! Tell Trailbreaker the truth!”

“I can’t!” he said vehemently.

“Why not?” Ratchet shouted back.

“Because if I do, he’ll wish he’d never touched me!” he blurted out, his vocal indicators flashing stridently.

Ratchet froze, his mouth open in mid-retort, a look of shock etched on his faceplate.

Wheeljack buried his helm in his shaking hands, overcome with shame. He sank to the floor in a crumpled heap, quaking with the sheer force of his own self-loathing.

A tense silence ensued.

After a few kliks, he heard the soft clank of a footstep, and a hand came to rest on his shoulder-strut. Wheeljack hunched them defensively, refusing to raise his helm, not wanting to meet Ratchet’s pitying gaze.

“You need to talk to Hoist,” Ratchet said quietly.

He shook his helm. “What good will that do?” he asked brokenly, his voice muffled by his hands, clogged with static, his vocal indicators flickering fitfully. “I’ll still be – it won’t change anything.”

“It will,” Ratchet replied, his tone soft but firm. “He can help you, ‘Jack. You don’t have to face this alone.”

He shook his helm again, despondently. “It’s no use,” he said. “It was never real.”

“It might make it easier for you to talk about it,” Ratchet said. “And maybe once you’ve come to terms with it, you can tell Trailbreaker.”

Wheeljack choked out a bitter laugh. “Right, like that’ll make a difference.”

“It might,” Ratchet said.

“Yeah, sure,” he retorted sarcastically. “Instead of thinking I’m an aft, he’ll think I’m –”

“You can’t decide for him, ‘Jack,” Ratchet interrupted gently. “You have to let him decide for himself. Who knows, he might surprise you.”

He shook his helm helplessly. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t risk giving up what little hope remained. Revealing the truth would cost him everything, deny him even the cold comfort of the illusion of Trailbreaker’s esteem. Even if all he had left were memory files, they still offered him more solace than the thought of Trailbreaker looking at him with pity or disgust –

“Don’t be like me, ‘Jack,” Ratchet said softly, breaking into his thoughts. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. If you care about him, you have to tell him. Don’t throw everything away because you’re afraid he might say no. If you never tell him the truth, no’s the only answer you’ll ever get.”

He raised his helm in surprise, meeting Ratchet’s optics. Sorrow lingered there, and loss, a look of regret so profound Wheeljack’s spark throbbed in sympathy. He felt an odd sense of kinship with Ratchet, even though he knew he’d been the source of his friend’s anguish.

“You were right to be afraid,” he pointed out quietly, lowering his gaze. “I said no.”

“I said no,” Ratchet corrected him. “It wouldn’t have mattered what you’d said; by the time I got around to asking, it was already too late. I waited too long to speak up.”

He thought on that for a moment, but after a klik he shook his helm. Ratchet’s decision to hide his true feelings hadn’t had anything to do with him being unworthy – Ratchet was everything he’d presented himself to be. Ratchet had feared complicating their friendship; his own fears were far more grounded. “It’s not the same, Ratch,” he said. “You know he’ll never say yes, not after he finds out –”

“I don’t know that,” Ratchet interrupted, cutting him off. “And neither do you, ‘Jack. The only way you’ll really know for sure is if you tell him.”

“And when he says no?” he asked. And purges his tanks in disgust, he thought grimly.

“If he says no,” Ratchet insisted. “If he does…then at least you’ll know you tried. It’s better that way, ‘Jack, believe me. Better than looking back and wondering.”

He had to admit Ratchet had a point. If Ratchet considered his recent rejection less painful than the cycles he’d spent trapped in limbo, caught between longing and despair, Wheeljack was inclined to believe his friend’s assertion was true. The thought of feeling like this every joor, every orn, every cycle from this day forward, praying that Trailbreaker might somehow change his mind, knowing he probably never would –

Maybe it would be better to know for sure. To admit defeat. To accept that it was really over.

He vented a heavy sigh. “Maybe you’re right,” he admitted. “Maybe I should just tell him.”

Ratchet gave him a look so startled Wheeljack had to repress the urge to toss one of his own wrenches at him. “What?” he demanded defensively. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“I’m just surprised, that’s all,” Ratchet said placatingly. “It’s good that you’re willing to tell him.”

He huffed irritably. “So how do I do it?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” Ratchet said, frowning.

“I mean, how do I do it?” he repeated impatiently. “How exactly am I supposed to tell him, Ratch? How do I even bring it up?”

“You just…tell him,” Ratchet said with a shrug, looking nonplussed.

“Right, sure, I’ll just stroll up to him in the corridor and say, ‘Hey Trailbreaker, how’s it going? Nice weather we’re having; last orn I got fragged by a ‘Con’?” he retorted sarcastically, ignoring the way his vocalizer quavered over the words.

Ratchet smirked wryly. “Probably not the best approach.”

He shook his helm, hauling himself wearily to his feet. “It doesn’t matter,” he said gloomily. “He won’t listen. He can’t even stand to look at me.”

Might as well tell him the truth, he thought bitterly. I’ve lost him either way.

“Maybe Hoist can give you some advice on that, too,” Ratchet said.

He fell silent for a moment, considering. He didn’t relish the thought of yet another ‘Bot finding out what had been done to him, but Hoist was a colleague. Wheeljack respected him as a peer, knew him well enough from working alongside him in repair bay to know that Hoist never engaged in idle gossip, especially regarding his patients. Hoist was gregarious, yes, but for a mech who talked as much as he did, Hoist often said very little.

“I…guess I could talk to him,” he agreed reluctantly.

Ratchet gave him a long look, his expression thoughtful and speculative. “I’ll arrange an appointment,” he said. “Would you prefer I brief him beforehand, or would you rather tell him yourself?”

Wheeljack activated his vocalizer to respond, but was interrupted by the sudden blare of a klaxon.

He and Ratchet exchanged a look. The sound was a familiar one; a call to arms. An astrosecond later they received a general comm ordering all available Autobots to report to the entrance of the Ark.

The Decepticons were attacking. They were on duty.

Evidently it wasn’t going to be a quiet shift after all.

**

Wheeljack fought to quell the anxiety welling in his spark as they approached the main corridor, struggling to remain calm. Optimus had agreed to allow him back into combat, and he’d assured his commander he was ready and able. He couldn’t back out now.

I can handle this, he told himself. I’ll be fine.

By the time they arrived, most of the available mechs were already gathered at the entrance – Ironhide, Prowl and Jazz, Windcharger, Cliffjumper, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe – and of course Optimus Prime, who immediately began relaying orders, filling them in on the situation.

“The Decepticons are staging another energon raid,” Prime said as Wheeljack and Ratchet pulled up and transformed. “This time they’ve attacked a nuclear power plant. Our job, of course, is to stop them.”

“Cliffjumper, Windcharger,” Optimus said, “You’re on recon. Roll out ahead and report back to Jazz with the Decepticons’ positions.”

“You got it, Optimus,” Windcharger replied agreeably, transforming.

“Knew I should have brought along my sniper rifle,” Cliffjumper muttered as he did the same.

Prime turned to the officers as the minibots drove off. “Jazz,” he said, “I want you to relay their findings to Prowl and Ironhide. Ironhide, Prowl, use the information Jazz provides you to determine our tactics and formulate a battle plan, and deploy our forces accordingly. I’ll handle Megatron.”

“Sunstreaker, Sideswipe,” Optimus said, addressing the frontliners, “Prowl’s orders permitting, I want you to focus your attention on the Seekers. See if you can’t take away some of Megatron’s aerial advantage.”

“All right!” Sideswipe replied eagerly. “Time for a little good old-fashioned jet judo!”

“This is going to be murder on my paint job,” Sunstreaker griped, but his optics flashed in anticipation.

Wheeljack suppressed a burst of vicious glee at the thought of the treatment Starscream and the other Seekers would suffer at the hands of the notorious Lambo twins, but Optimus Prime’s next words sent a chill through his spark.

“Trailbreaker,” Optimus said, “I’ve been informed there are many humans working at the plant. Your job will be to shield them from harm. I would prefer to put a stop to this raid without human casualties.”

“You can count on me, Prime,” Trailbreaker replied soberly, allowing Wheeljack to place him on the far side of their commander, his large form blocked from view by Optimus’ still larger frame. “I’ll keep ‘em safe.”

He shot an alarmed look at Ratchet, but Optimus had already turned to address them, and Ratchet’s attention was on their leader.

“Ratchet, Wheeljack,” Optimus said, “I want the two of you on hand to perform any necessary field repairs. Keep your helms down and stay back unless you’re needed.”

“Understood, Prime,” Ratchet replied tersely. Wheeljack nodded.

“Autobots, transform and roll out!”

**

Tension shot through Wheeljack’s circuits as they neared the coordinates Optimus had provided. This was it; his true test. There would be no cheating this time, no convenient invulnerability to shield him from the terror pulsing in his spark. If he faltered in this battle, Optimus Prime would pull him off active duty, perhaps permanently.

He squelched the craven burst of longing he felt at the thought, repressing the brief impulse to fumble things deliberately to ensure he never saw combat again. He was not a coward. He might have had to deal with Starscream’s sensor-ghost squatting in his CPU, but he wasn’t about to let the Seeker’s trademark pusillanimity infect his normal mode of operation. He’d faced down Megatron himself once, something Starscream had never done without groveling.

I’m not afraid, he told himself. I’m not.

Prowl’s orders came over the comm as they neared the plant, identifying the Decepticons involved and their positions – all six Seekers, Soundwave and his cassettes, Megatron himself, with Astrotrain acting as transport for the stolen energon cubes.

Optimus Prime led the first wave of the attack, flanked by Ironhide and Prowl, the remaining ‘Bots hot on their heels. Wheeljack and Ratchet brought up the rear. Prime only had optics for Megatron, who turned too late to meet the Autobot leader’s charge and was tackled to the ground, the earth shuddering with the impact of their massive frames. As the two titans grappled, the Seekers dropped the cubes they were holding and scattered, nimbly dodging the hail of laser fire the Autobots peppered them with as they took to the skies.

Sideswipe leapt into the air with a fiendish howl of unholy glee, launching himself at Thundercracker like a living bomb. The blue Seeker unleashed a sonic boom just as they collided, nearly drowning out the resounding clash of metal against metal, but Sideswipe swung himself astride the angry jet undaunted, and proceeded to tear at Thundercracker’s wings with savage abandon as the Decepticon lurched and barrel-rolled, trying to escape his tormentor.

Not to be outdone by his twin, Sunstreaker launched a similar attack on Starscream, cursing as the agile Decepticon Air Commander evaded him, but consoled when a startled Skywarp blundered directly into his path. Never one to turn down an opportunity for violence, Sunstreaker gamely turned his attentions on the teleporter instead, smashing a fist through Skywarp’s cockpit and ripping out whatever delicate internal components he could lay his hands on.

The remaining Autobots took cover behind various buildings and outcroppings of rock, firing off shots as they worked their way closer to where the stolen energon cubes were stacked in preparation for transport.

Soundwave stood his ground and shot back, ejecting Laserbeak and Buzzsaw to provide cover fire for Rumble and Frenzy as they continued to load energon into the waiting Astrotrain. Thrust, Ramjet and Dirge circled warily above, too cowed by the fate of their comrades at the hands of the frontliner twins to do more than stand guard over the energon, firing occasional shots at any Autobot who ventured too close.

Wheeljack looked around anxiously for Starscream, and spotted him harrying Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, darting in and out between them in an effort to aid his trinemates. Unable to use his null ray without risking hitting Thundercracker or Skywarp, Starscream was attempting to dislodge the clinging Autobot attackers with screaming dives and too-close-for-comfort passes.

Abruptly recalling that he was supposed to be fighting, not watching Starscream, Wheeljack tore his gaze off the Decepticon Air Commander and fired a few shots at the circling Coneheads, his aim once more frustrated by the renewed trembling of his hands. He glanced nervously at Ratchet, to see if the medic had registered his reaction, but Ratchet had other things on his processor – as Wheeljack glanced in his direction, Ratchet vaulted over the large rock they’d taken cover behind and went charging off across the battlefield.

Wheeljack immediately spied what had caught Ratchet’s attention – Cliffjumper was down, his battered frame lying limp and unmoving. Wheeljack endeavored to provide cover fire for Ratchet as he tore across the rocky ground to reach the injured mech, dragging him to the relative shelter of a nearby building where he could safely begin to initiate repairs.

Left without the reassurance of Ratchet’s galvanizing presence beside him, Wheeljack glanced around uneasily, trying to assess the status of the battle. Optimus and Megatron were still exchanging blows, seemingly oblivious to the battle raging on around them, focused solely on each other. Soundwave had evidently taken a hit; the Decepticon was down on one knee, damaged but still firing at the attacking Autobots, aided by Rumble and Frenzy, who had abandoned their efforts to load Astrotrain in favor of defending their “boss.”

Thundercracker and Skywarp were down, forced out of the sky by Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, who continued their relentless assault even on the ground. Ramjet, Thrust and Dirge were still circling overhead, guarding the stack of energon cubes, doggedly refusing to be drawn out of formation as they traded shots with Ironhide, Windcharger and Prowl.

That was when Wheeljack spotted Jazz, sidling around the side of a building opposite, using its shadow to conceal himself from the Decepticons’ view as he edged steadily closer to Astrotrain and the stolen energon. Prowl’s plan instantly became clear – he and the other Autobots were merely a diversion, keeping the Decepticons’ attention occupied while Jazz moved into position. A single well-placed shot from the Autobot saboteur would bring this battle to a spectacularly explosive conclusion.

The realization that his trial-by-fire would soon be over sent a surge of relief flashing through Wheeljack’s circuits, but it was promptly replaced by another that shook him to the core.

He’d completely lost track of Starscream.

Casting about frantically, Wheeljack located the Seeker a reassuring distance away, engaged in what looked like a strafing run – but the energon in his lines froze when he identified Starscream’s intended target.

Trailbreaker.

The defense strategist was crouched over the glowing dome of a force field a short distance away, shielding a group of terrified-looking humans. As Wheeljack looked on in horror, Trailbreaker ducked his helm and hunkered down, standing his ground as Starscream’s attack rained down on him, stoically enduring a bombardment of laser fire that left his plating scorched and smoking.

Wheeljack’s spark contracted with dread. He knew with agonizing certainty that Trailbreaker would never abandon the humans to their fate, not when Optimus Prime had specifically ordered him to protect them. But Prime couldn’t have anticipated that Starscream would seek to avenge his trinemates by venting his ire on the vulnerable humans who worked at the plant.

The humans were safe for the moment, thanks to Trailbreaker’s indomitable courage, but Wheeljack knew they wouldn’t remain so for long. Trailbreaker may have possessed remarkable endurance, but even he couldn’t stand up to a prolonged assault. As powerful as his force field was, if Trailbreaker became too damaged to maintain it, the humans’ fates would be sealed.

Starscream was already swinging around for another pass, his thirst for vengeance evidently unslaked. Wheeljack didn’t realize he’d flung himself over the rock and transformed until he felt the jolt through his shocks as he landed on the other side, but by then he was already in motion, the wheels of his alt mode spinning before they even met the ground, kicking up a massive cloud of dust as he shot across the battlefield amid a squeal of tires and the stench of burning rubber.

He arrived within astroseconds, transforming alongside the beleaguered Trailbreaker and his human charges just as Starscream descended once more into weapons range. The tremors wracking his frame made it impossible to establish a solid targeting lock, causing the crosshairs in his HUD to leap around erratically, but he fired anyway, launching one of his gyro-inhibitor shells at Starscream as the Decepticon swooped down to unleash his second barrage.

He scored a direct hit.

Wheeljack watched in shock and disbelief as his shell exploded against Starscream’s cockpit and sent the Seeker’s systems into disarray, forcing him to crash land just beyond them with a thunderous report, skidding several meters over the rocky ground on the belly of his alt mode before finally grating to a halt.

He glanced at Trailbreaker, meeting his equally stunned optics for a startled moment before the screeching sound of warped and protesting metal captured their attention.

Starscream was attempting to transform.

As one, they turned to face him as Starscream struggled to revert to his root mode, watching as the Seeker fought to pull himself to his feet. The disorienting effects of Wheeljack’s gyro-inhibitor foiled his efforts, causing Starscream to reel and stumble drunkenly before finally collapsing to the ground on his hands and knees in an unwieldy heap.

From beneath the shelter of Trailbreaker’s force field, the humans tittered nervously.

Starscream’s faceplate contorted with rage at the sound, his optics blazing a livid crimson. He lifted his helm, pinning Wheeljack in place with a murderous glare that turned his backstruts to ice.

Wheeljack raised his weapon shakily, pointing it at the downed Seeker, his plating rattling audibly as he quaked in terror, violent tremors assaulting his frame.

“Fire, Autobot,” Starscream goaded malevolently. “Kill me, if you can.”

Wheeljack choked back a thready keen, a deluge of memory files flooding his cache in response to that hated voice, that contemptuous tone. His hand shook, causing the barrel of his gun to waver, but at this range he knew he wouldn’t miss, even without a targeting lock. His finger tensed on the trigger –

“I should have killed you when I had the chance,” Starscream snarled disdainfully, scowling at him with manifest disgust. “You’d served your purpose. To think that I, Starscream, showed mercy to an Autobot.”

Wheeljack’s optics widened in alarm. He shot a horrified look at Trailbreaker, who was frowning, looking understandably puzzled by Starscream’s statement. Trailbreaker’s attention was focused on the damaged Seeker, but Starscream, Wheeljack soon discovered, had been watching him.

“Oh dear,” Starscream purred insincerely, smirking with malicious glee. “Let me guess. You never told anyone.”

Starscream’s words hit him like a blast of liquid nitrogen, suffusing his circuits with bitter, biting cold, freezing his servos and CPU. His finger was poised on the trigger of his weapon, but he couldn’t transmit the command to fire. He was immobilized, unable to function.

Just like he’d been that day.

Starscream laughed viciously. “Our little secret,” he cackled. “How pathetic. You know, I never did thank you, Autobot. It was so kind of you to assist me. But then again, perhaps you should be the one thanking me. We both know how much you enjoyed it.”

His frozen joints abruptly gave way, the hydraulics in his legs depressurizing, bringing him to his knees. He sank to the ground, too weak to stand. He stared blankly, his optics wide and unseeing, besieged by an onslaught of memory files inundating his cache, triggered by Starscream’s cruel voice and malignant presence.

Some part of him was distantly aware that he was shaking, that a low, wavering keen was issuing steadily from his vocalizer, but he was helpless to do anything about it. The only clear thought that passed through his processor was the knowledge that Trailbreaker was right there, witnessing it all.

That was when he heard Trailbreaker’s voice.

“What did you do to him?!” Trailbreaker demanded, his vocalizer strained by a curious mix of anger and bewilderment.

“More than you, I suspect,” Starscream replied mockingly, his poisonous smirk evident in his tone.

Trailbreaker’s response was drowned out by an explosion that shook the ground, knocking the humans off their feet. Jazz, it seemed, had finally reached his goal.

Wheeljack heard Megatron bellowing in rage, calling for a retreat. He wanted to look up, to confirm for himself that the battle was over, that the Decepticons were really leaving, but he couldn’t raise his helm, couldn’t tear his optics away from the small patch of barren ground directly in front of him.

A moment later he heard the distinctive roar of jet engines, followed by heavy thuds of feet striking the earth. There was a sound of movement, of pressurizing hydraulics and the clank and scrape of metal against metal.

“Hurry up,” Starscream rasped impatiently.

“Be glad we bothered to retrieve your busted aft at all, Commander,” someone – Ramjet, he thought – retorted wryly.

“What about them?” another, deeper voice – Dirge? – asked.

“I say we blast ‘em,” Ramjet replied.

Tension sang through Wheeljack’s frame as he detected the low whine of weapons being charged. A shimmering barrier abruptly appeared in front of him, several bright flashes striking it and bouncing off, hissing and spitting before fizzling harmlessly away, causing the humans to cry out in fear.

“Fragging force field,” Dirge grumbled. “Slag this, we’re wasting energon.”

Jet engines roared to life again, at first impossibly loud, then slowly fading into the distance.

The glowing barrier disappeared.

“You’re safe now,” he heard Trailbreaker saying. “You can all go home.” A jumbled chorus of thank-yous and other expressions of gratitude arose in response.

There was a brief pause, followed by a scraping noise and the sound of shifting metal, and then Trailbreaker’s broad frame filled his field of vision, crouching down to meet his gaze.

“Are you all right?” Trailbreaker asked.

Wheeljack stared into those worried optics, and couldn’t make a sound.

He knows. He knows –!

Trailbreaker glanced up as the low rumble of an approaching engine reached their audials, a look of relief flashing across his faceplate. Wheeljack heard the sound of a transformation, and then Ratchet’s familiar voice asking, “What happened?”

“Starscream attacked us,” Trailbreaker explained quickly. “I took a few hits, but I’m all right, don’t worry about me. Something’s wrong with Wheeljack; he’s not moving!”

“Null ray?” Ratchet asked.

“No,” Trailbreaker replied in consternation. “He never took a hit! He just…” he trailed off, gesturing helplessly in Wheeljack’s direction.

“Right,” Ratchet said crisply. Wheeljack heard him transform again. “Load him in, let’s get him back to base. The others are rolling out.”

Trailbreaker turned back to face him, frowning faintly. “You’re gonna be okay,” he said quietly. He bent down to lift him, his strong arms gentle, holding Wheeljack securely against his chestplate as he carried him over to where Ratchet was waiting.

Wheeljack lay limp and unresisting in his arms, soothed by the familiar warmth emanating from Trailbreaker's chassis as he loaded him carefully into the back of Ratchet’s alt mode. His spark contracted painfully, realizing this would probably be the last time Trailbreaker ever touched him. He raised a shaky hand in a weak attempt to stay him, but managed only the barest brush of his fingertips against his arm as Trailbreaker withdrew.

The fleeting touch caught Trailbreaker’s attention, and for a moment he hesitated, gazing down at Wheeljack with troubled optics. “It’s gonna be okay,” he reassured him again, and then straightened, lowering the door and closing him in, cutting himself off from view.

A wave of despair washed over him. It wasn’t going to be okay. It would never be okay again.

It was over.


*Part 23 is here*

Comments

[fauxfaia.livejournal.com]

It's good to hear you're alright!!

I- I wish I could say the same about 'Jack, homahgawd! Of all things to had have happen to him! Two more chapters left? fff, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself when this ends!

[kookaburra1701.livejournal.com]

Ahh, why do we love torturing our favorite characters so?

YA wonderful chapter - but you already knew I love it. :)

[aaaaaah.livejournal.com]

Aw, that was awesome. I love the way it took losing Trailbreaker for Wheeljack to really seem to commit to the idea that he wants to be with him. And I loved Starscream in this chapter - very nasty.

[anontfwriter.livejournal.com]

I loved this chapter, they way you write emotions makes me feel with Wheeljack.
I hope you recover quickly without any lasting effects.
Keep up the good writing!

[sister-dear.livejournal.com]

Yikes! Glad to hear you're okay. You recovering all right?

And now, the reaction: Ohmigawd. Ohmigawd. *flail* Two chapters left? It'll be sad to see this one end, but at the same time it's been so masterfully handled from the very start and I can't wait to see the resolution.

I loved the way you worked things out between Ratchet and Wheeljack in the last chapter. In the context of the whole story, it really works that they didn't wind up together romantically. So as much as I love that pairing, I'm glad you didn't go that route.

Starscream was perfect here. So much going on in that scene, so much happening with all three of them, it's hard to break it down but that whole thing... yeah. Two thumbs way up.

I also love that you're including Hoist in this, even if it's in a totally roundabout way.

[mdperera.livejournal.com]

I prefer romances where people fall in love gradually (as opposed to at first sight). So this line:

He wasn’t sure when it had happened exactly, at what point in their association Trailbreaker had gone from being merely convenient to being absolutely necessary – Trailbreaker had crept in quietly, unassumingly, and slotted neatly into place within his spark...

just made me melt.

You also do a good job of showing that Mirage and Hound have discussed Mirage's experience with Wheeljack, and Hound has taken it into consideration - which isn't easy given that you have to stay in Wheeljack's POV at all times. And the conversation between Ratchet and 'Jack was excellent. Ratchet really is a good friend, and that's another wonderful thing about this story - it explores friendship as well as romance.

Probably the only thing I'm disappointed about is that Wheeljack didn't get to talk to Hoist and Trailbreaker before the battle, but that's because I was hoping he'd work up the courage to do it, and that would have been another tense, emotionally charged discussion. Rather than TB finding out about it from someone else.

But I loved both Starscream's and Wheeljack's extremely realistic reactions at the end of the battle. Starscream is malicious and calculating and unstoppable - even after he's been shot down and damaged, he keeps trying to gain the upper hand and hurt his enemies. Delightful. :D As for Wheeljack, he'll find out that he's been worried for no good reason, right? That Trailbreaker still cares about him and finds him attractive? Holding out for that happy ending.

[anon-decepticon.livejournal.com]

I'm glad the bit with Mirage and Hound came across - you wouldn't believe how much time I spent wrestling with that scene!

With Ratchet and 'Jack's conversation, I wanted to show that WJ had reached the point of being willing to tell TB and talk to Hoist before Starscream went and let the cat out of the bag (otherwise it'd be a little too much a case of Seeker-ex-machina, lol.)

But tense, emotionally-charged discussions are coming. Starscream's intervention may have bumped up the schedule, denying WJ the option of making endless excuses and putting things off indefinitely, but he's still got a lot of 'splainin to do, and he's going to have to find the courage within himself to do it. In a perverse way, Starscream has helped by solving his dilemma about how to broach the topic, but where WJ goes from there is entirely up to him.

[mdperera.livejournal.com]

Good to hear that Wheeljack has to do something more difficult that confronting Starscream - facing himself and Trailbreaker. I didn't want the focus to be redirected to Starscream, with the 'bots closing ranks around Wheeljack and maybe even excusing his behavior because it's easier to hold Starscream responsible.

You've used him in a much better way, though - as you said, he's precipitated events, because otherwise Wheeljack probably would have kept on making excuses. I'm really keen to see how matters proceed from here!

[astronomylover.livejournal.com]

Poor 'Jack! It's not over, honey. 'Breaker will understand. <333

Amazing job, as usual. I can't wait for the next chapter!!! Soon, please!

[swordage]

I seriously, honestly whined out loud when I got to the end of this chapter. :< Oh, Wheeljack! Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you find out the hole can go a little deeper after all...

[laratron.livejournal.com]

Holy Primus! You really know how to keep someone on the edge of their seat. I must know what happens next! *sits and waits*

[vonderbarr.livejournal.com]

OH SHI-
This is great-I don't even-
Before this chapter I wasn't 100% sure that Jack had really fallen for Breaker, but it looks like he has. Only two more chapters left!I'm really looking forward to how this all works out, but at the same time I'm not cuz that means it's over!At least I have the outtake chapters to look forward to!

I feel like I'm using too many exclamation marks!!!